she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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