used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want to fling myself into the sun
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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