Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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