How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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