the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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