She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
