You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i think my cat just said my name.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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