Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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