SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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