I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
