Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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