Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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