But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
