Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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