why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
