You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize