Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
