just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Come see our sink grown plant.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
