All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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