I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
