I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
