Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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