I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
