i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize