This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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