erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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