I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
