i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
did i just pee glitter
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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