Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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