True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
