worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
