if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
