In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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