he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
