I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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