I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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