It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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