I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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