and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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