Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize