At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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