Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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