If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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