well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Someone stole a lamp last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there is puke in my bra ... again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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