On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
