just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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