There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
