Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just crazy horny about you
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize