yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
