Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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