Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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