I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
