why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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