i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
