So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
