My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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