If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
