I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
