His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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