ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
