And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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