When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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