I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
