I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
