I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
