forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
